Wealth

I've been to places. There are a few places that left some intensive emotions in my heart, namely, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia and India.. What is the common thing of these countries? Some families there earn US$0.50 for a day only and it's not even enough for survival. It reminds me of my childhood when I stayed in an SS area (slum + scum). Areas full of exposed drains emitting strong smells, with rats which is bigger than cats, the "four poisons": prostitution, gambling, drinking, drugs(嫖赌飲吹), you name it. If God wants to destruct cities again like Sodom, I was in one of these.

These thoughts just cannot get out of my mine. I am not in such poor situation anymore but why are we depriving them. Are we? I thought of it when I went to a coffee shop auntie and hand over eighty cents for a coffee. I thought of it when I look at the leftover junk after I finished a McDonald's meal. I thought of it during the burning of money in the new year fireworks.

Do I make sense here? Are you still with me?

We may think of their poverty is NOT from us. We, so called developed countries, are sucking blood from undeveloped countries. We obtain materials, fuels, labour, from them but paying them peanuts. Sometime, when we are organizing some charity campaigns for these poor countries, I got a feeling of Dracula promoting blood donation.

On the other hand, see what is important in developed countries. Eating duck tongues, pig stomach, fish sauce and maggots are considered as Fear Factor and on the contrast, people are starving in other countries. Children in wealthy country will complain about a glass of water because it has no ice, while other children have to drink water after it's used for shower (or even more disgusting usages). More worse, emotionally children are protected and you cannot hurt their self-esteem by not scolding them, but you know how many children died each day without even living a life like a dog in an advanced country?

Here is some extraction from the song, "on the other side of the world":

我曾在夜裡哭泣 因為愛情已遠離
你也在夜裡哭泣 只是天空很久沒有下雨
我常常向上帝禱告 希望工作愛情 都順利
你默默向上帝禱告 只是希望下一餐 會來的更早

我曾經上街去遊行 抗議政府要給更多福利
而你在槍聲中躲避 戰爭使你顛沛流離
我有幸福的家庭 暑假想去歐洲旅行
而你在廢墟中哭泣 你的爸爸媽媽在哪裡

P.S. I was once in the Big Brother Project in US. My job is to be a good friend to an "abused" child in order to help him. The police was once surrending his home because his father beated him and they beleived this child should be protected and helped "psychologically". Later on, when I met and talked with this "victim" kid, I discovered he was so pissed off and made his father angry. All because of his father did not give him a playstation, and his reason was, he deserved it and it is his father's responsibility of giving him that.

粉霞伴孤影 靜夜陪獨思

Every new year countdown I have a wish, and every end of a year the wish is still a wish.

I thought I will burst into tears in the new year count down. In the end, I didn't.

Firework (burnt with the money of tax-payers) shot up into the sky and scattered into (finitely) many pieces. As the heart sank and dissolved into (finitely) many sediment.

What have I done this year? As in some previous years, I don't think I will know until I met the Lord.

Before You Speak

THINK before you speak. Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? - Alan Redpath

(He got a good name also)

Bacon and Egg Breakfast

About commitment talked earlier, here is a story about it quoted by our TL in BSF earlier on.


A pig and a chicken were out for a walk one day when they happened across a very sad-looking group of human beings. “Gee,” said the pig, “I wonder what’s wrong with them?” “I don’t know,” said the chicken. “But I wonder if they might be hungry. Let’s cheer them up! Let’s make them a bacon and egg breakfast!”

The pig paused for a moment. “Hey,” he said. “I’m not so sure I like that idea. For you it’s a contribution, but for me it’s a big commitment!”

寧赴湘流

生命不外乎:疼愛別人,被人疼愛,傷害別人,被人傷害.我們只能盡力去疼愛別人,不傷害人.但沒有能力去令別人疼愛你自己,或防止別人傷害你.

我明白 神對我們無私的愛.
我明白自私的最終結果是不會快樂.
我明白世界需要多一點付出,關懷,溫暖,愛心,為對方著想....

但有時真的覺得,自私的人會比較快樂.
他們不用為他人想那麼多,
他們不渴求與人深交,
孤獨並不是一個顯露的問題.
對感情不用負責.隨意而行.
他們生活在自己的世界,需然虛幻,卻有短暫的滿足.

屈原既放，游於江潭，行吟澤畔，顏色憔悴，形容枯槁。漁父見而問之曰：「子非三閭大夫與？何故至於斯？」屈原曰：「舉世皆濁我獨清，眾人皆醉我獨醒，是以見放。」漁父曰：「聖人不凝滯於物，而能與世推移。世人皆濁，何不淈其泥而揚其波？眾人皆醉，何不餔其糟而歠其醨？何故深思高舉，自令放為？」屈原曰：「吾聞之，新沐者必彈冠，新浴者必振衣。安能以身之察察，受物之汶汶者乎？寧赴湘流，葬於江魚之腹中，安能以皓皓之白，而蒙世俗之塵埃乎！」漁父莞爾而笑，鼓枻而去，乃歌曰：「滄浪之水清兮，可以濯吾纓；滄浪之水濁兮，可以濯吾足。」遂去，不復與言。
(English Translation here)

Actually written in Nov 1999

My Idol

Watch this, someone that I admire.

Being a father is more than a total commitment.. it means you have to commit all yourself every second, plus, extending your limit for the ones you love. Not only your sons and daughters, but your beloved wife. To those fathers, they will know what I mean by "extending limit"

(click the picture for a full picture)

Children Church Camp 2006!

Here again, once a year, children church camp. The theme of this year is Exodus, yeah.. slave driving. Here are some photos of the camp. (Some more here, and here)
This year is quite tough, because the room has no air con. The heat and the noise (aircon room is more 'sealed' and quiet) made it very difficult to control the kids.. I guess my temper was being pushed to the limit. However of course, there were a lot of sweet moments, like little Emma went to uncle Stanley and said "I love you".

The camp actually let me experience how the israelites irritated Moses, hence... irritated God. How God was faithful and patience towards His people and took care of them. God is just so so extraordinary.

However, the conclusion is, let me know, how I irritated God. More accurately, offended God. Moreover, how good is God to me and the real meaning of "God is faithful and long suffered".

Thank you, Mr. God.

My Saviour First of All

When my lifework is ended, and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see;
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me.

* Refrain:
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand.

Oh, the soul-thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face,
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace,
That prepare for me a mansion in the sky.

Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.

Through the gates to the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.

Knowing Good? or Knowing God?

In the Sunday school teachers' retreat, the speaker said, "We are not teaching the children how to be good kids, we are teaching them who God is."

Totally aligned with BSF studies of Genesis this year, are we learning how to be a good person through the lives of those people in Genesis? Or are we learning what are the attributes of God, through His faithfulness and grace to work in His people's lives?

Who is/are the main character(s) of Genesis, or the Bible? Adam, Eve, Enoch, Noah, the Patriarchs? or God

If we do not know how faithful God is, how do we know that we are not faithful? Substitute the word "faithful" with every adjective of God, such as holy, loving, patience, wise, sovereign, you name it.

It's only the personal relationship of knowing God that made all the Patriarchs to do what is right in God's eyes.

What I finally want to say is, we sometime do not understand what means by a relatioship with God by "knowing God".

We do not know what "knowing" means.

P.S. Please don't argue about the first statement. I do NOT mean we do NOT teach our kids to behave well, I meant there is a priority only. That's my broken English.

Out of the Blue.... Yet?

I was in quite a deep depression the whole week. Every morning woke up by bad dreams. Even woke up by my own crying once.

Nothing/noone was able to cheer me. I was pulling some of my friends' legs by dragging them when they were caring about me. Adding onto me, I felt more guilty. Apologize to them.

It went on for the week, probably because of my work. Stacked up stresses plus my dean told me that although my teaching is excellent (he did use that word) but my research is not good enough. There IS some distance between my current research and their expectation. Unless I did some significant improvement, otherwise in two years time, I will lose my job. Yes, they don't care about teaching. This is the sad thing about universities, they are ranked highly ONLY because of research, nothing deal with teachings. Noone cares about teaching. So far if the teachers do not do crazy mistakes or do not strip in front of your own class, they can just stand there and read the books to students... to teach.

Deep deep blue is affecting me. Of course the same old questions are appearing again, "what am I doing here", "am I doing the right thing for God"...

Well, I am a sinner who needs help.

Stresses from ministries are also piling up. Fortunately BSF is ending. However, sunday school teachers have to go for a retreat this weekend. Bring my both emotionally and physically drained body, i didn't expect much in the retreat except please don't die here.

God is good. The retreat revived me, from death.

First, the speakers and games are really reviving me. My mood was uncontrollably returning to normal at the night when i was in the BSF DL fellowship.

The last day of the retreat, our pastor came with his weary body from Malaysia.

The sermon was good, it was about Abimelech in the book of Judges 9 in the Bible. How he decieve the people by imposing insecurity onto them. We are also affected by the world and told that we are finacially, emotionally, physically, whatever-ly insecure. So we need all those financial planning, slimming plan, etc to secure our positions. Pastor Chris helped me by pointing out a very important point: All these made us to forget God. This wicked Abimelech even killed his 70 brothers. However, one of them, Jotham, escaped (to Beer! what a nice place) and finally woke up the people about remembering God.

I do remember God, but didn't realize the world is telling me to forget Him, to forget that He can provide. It's a battle here.

I do forget partially in this modern days of Judges. Pray that God will remind and help me. Thank God for answering my prayer for encouragement through forcing me to go for the retreat.

Well, another week is coming, see if I will forget God again...

Abimelech means "my father is king" vs Jotham means "God is perfect". Isn't it asking about if your king is on earth or trust in God's perfect?

【念奴嬌‧赤壁懷古】 蘇軾 (東坡)

大江東去浪淘盡，
千古風流人物。　　
故壘西邊，
人道是﹕三國周郎赤壁。　　
亂石崩雲，
驚濤裂岸，
卷起千堆雪。　　
江山如畫，
一時多少豪傑。　　

遙想公謹當年，
小喬初嫁了，
雄姿英發。　　
羽扇綸巾，
談笑間、強虜灰飛煙滅。　　
故國神游，
多情應笑我，
早生華發。　　
人間如夢，
一樽還酹江月。　　

Baby blue

I am playing the game Kingdom Hearts II now. Reminds me of my favourite charactor, Donald Duck. Just thinking about it, my most favourite charactor is Xiao Ding Dong (Doraemon) All in the same color leh, including my favourite comics, Baby blue...

I am so blue.

Just for fun, my sister sent me this:

叮噹詩歌版

何用呆著等運到
愛主事奉多麼好
無窮奇妙當中歡笑賜我快樂神是最好
平凡人亦感受到
有主愛著我自豪
麻煩奇事都可交托只管專心在禱告
只雖要用愛禱告
奇妙就臨到
你睇 “恩典o黎啦”
基督呀，誰都感激您
我深覺自豪

Not again!

look the the middle portion of my personality chart....

Metaphor I


"After certain volumen of intake, you must produce enough output to the society and you cannot keep it to your own. However, you did not know if your input is helpful for you unless you judge your product by seeing if it is emerging to the surface or simply sinking. Since the input/output process is a life-long one, we must constantly examinate our product and check how solid and firm it is. Then we can divert our intake to make a better product.

One final word, do not always take other's product as input. Just devour output from others and reproduce the same substance is meaningless."

If you are wondering what we are talking aobut, we are talking about "Education" here.

Kitchenware

I could use one of these

Job 30:25

I got this joke from the internet:

A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."

The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"

After a smile, actually it made me fall into a deep thought.

How many times we gave other people advices without listening?

There was an old Chinese story but real in history in the West Jun Dynasty:

There was one big famine over the whole country. The people finished the tree skins and grass roots, even men eating men happens! Local officials reported to the Emperor Wei and he was really confused, and said, "Why don't they eat meat porridge?" (何不食肉糜?)

This Chinese idiom is popular in describing misunderstanding situations. When the emperor has the most luxary food everyday but his people almost have to eat dirt.

I am not trying to condemn people who do not understand others, please do not get me wrong. I think everyone will NOT know the situation of every other. However, we just have to be patient to get a more comprehensive picture of how others feel before we try to help.

A typical conversation when I feel down sometime:

Me: *Sigh*
Friend: What's up?
Me: i feel no energy in me and quite frustrated lately because... (interupted)
Friend: Trust in God and delighted in Him! Pray and put every trouble of you in Him. He is the source of blessings and will make you joyful. Remember that verse about eagle... blah blah blah

I do appreciate that it is from a good motivation and really a "correct" answer, but not quite helpful at that point of time.

I think I understand women in the way that, we are NOT NOT (not a typo) seeking answers to a problem, but NOT YET. True communication involves understanding in different level, including "emotional acknowledgement". In the old text of Bible, the word "knowing" is used in a lot of different levels, from superficial to deep involvement.

Where are the first two times the bible used the word "knew"?

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. Gen 3:7 (KJV)

Did Adam and Eve not know they were naked before? It was a deeper feeling of the shame of sin and their experience of broken relationship with God.

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. Gen 4:1 (KJV)

It's not in NIV but in King James Version, "knowing" is always used as having sexual relationship. I am not getting erotic here, but I personally believed that sex is a gift from God that we can know our spouses better in phyical, emotional and spiritual ways. A good husband will not focus on the "techniques" or personal "climax" but eye contacts and communication (sorry I am NO expert in it yet). That's a form of knowing. (Just saw the movie "Friends with money" and mentioned eye contacts in sex. Important, right? I have no idea but I guess so.)

Especially in Asian education system, we know our knowledge by memorizing books and what teachers said. When we got an "A" or 100 marks, we were happy and thought we know enough. We never know enough for a relationship, no matter it is husband and wife or family and friends. We do not give a deeper thought in "knowing" (adding here, not even in academic knowledge. we'd never question why Newton's laws are wrong or -1 times -1 is 1. Mathematics IS a religion!)

A final word, our God is the best example to follow. He did choose to suffer with what we experienced and He choose to show us that He experienced it. (Isa 53, Phi 2:5-7)

"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." Romans 12:15

We cannot make others to know us, but we can learn how to know more about others.

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering." Heb 13:3

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

The Man's Ribs

Here is the recipes for the sweet and sour ribs. For 1 lb. of ribs add

• 1 soup spoon of Chinese white wine
• 2 soup spoons of Chinese black vinegar (鎭江醋)
• 3 soup spoons of dark/old soy sauce (老抽)
• 4 soup spoons of sugar
  

Just put everything in and cook for 20 min.

Yes, it's that easy.

P.S. For those who wonder about the title, it's Gen 2:21.

Deception

I watched an interesting video clip online. It was a short talk between David Zinczenko editor-in-chief of Men's health magazine and Kate White, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan. David did a research of what men look for in a women and here is the list, in the order of importance:

1. Faithfulness
2. Intelligence
3. Beauty
4. Honesty
5. Good in bed

On the contrast, this is the research of what women think men look for in women:

1. Beauty
2. Confidence
3. Good in bed
4. Allure
5. faithfulness & honesty

The first reaction of Kate was questioning the results from guys were only that "they just said what they were supposed to say", my interpretation is of her hidden word is... "hypocritical".

Guys, what say you?

The host said, "If you are 25, you may want a 'hot chick', but if you are 35, you really realize what is important." Guys are not that dumb... although there are some....

I would say a lot of young guys may really go for looks. Mature guys don't.

According to David,

• %90 of men rate having wives as soulmate over amazing sex.
• %72 honesty > looks

David said, "no use to have a beautiful orchid if always worrying someone is picking it up"

• %60 beautiful face > beautiful body

Kate immediate protested that guys look for "curves". (That's why so many slimming program out there for women.) However, David said, "it's not the face, it's the eyes." I totally agree, the eyes of a woman reflects herself. Not only physically, but also their emotion, inner self. You can tell a lot from the eyes if a person is living in fear, ignorance, or wise, kind, etc. from the eyes.

Interestingly, Kate insisted in thoughts like, "guys like beauty", and also like women to be "allure", "mystery", and "excitement of women which surprise guys everyday".

I think she is not reflecting the reality, she is trying to change the reality.

For the first second, yes, a beautiful woman will catch a guy's sight, but for not more than 5 min, i.e., not for the life long time as a wife. "Beauty is fleeting"

For one night stand, maybe "allure" and "mystery" hook guys, but you cannot be mysterious for a life long commitment.

Excitement everyday? First, how can that be possible?! Even so, the guy may die from a heart attack one day. Excitement only excites people when it gets heavier and heavier.

Yes, for ignorant guys, they look for appearance. For mature guys, let's get real.

I used to serve in youth ministries and I told the youth. "How you attract is what you get." You dress as half-naked, you attract lusty guys. You talk wisely, you attract mature guys. As Christians, you live your daily life with a good relationship with God, you attract godly men. This is a matter of choice, you cannot attract a guy who got everything good things. There were a saying,

If a guy is handsome, usually he is a playboy.
If a guy is rich, usually he is not faithful.
If a guy is nice, usually he is already married.
If a guy is handsome, rich, and nice, but he is also faithful, not a playboy and not married....

.... probably he is gay.

Ladies, please wake up, don't read Cosmopolitan (or whatsoever magazines) anymore. Guys likewise, stop reading those magazines that give you a false image of the other sex and make you more dumb.

P.S. A final word... guys or girls, we usually don't want to grow up. So we stay at the stage of fantasy. That's why the commercials are so 'fantastic'. Wake up! You are living in a real world.
P.P.S. That is why I always sigh and quote two old Chinese verses:

1. 千里馬常有，而伯樂不常有
2. 路遙知馬力，日久見人心

(Interestingly they are all about horses.)

P.P.S What is your list?

晚禱

My Favourite Hymn

An Evening Prayer
Words & Music: C. Maude Bat­ters­by

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,
If I have turned aside from want or pain,
Lest I myself shall suffer through the strain,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse or hard, or cold,
If I have longed for shelter in Thy fold,
When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,
Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;
Forgive the secret sins I do not see;
O guide me, love me and my keeper be,
Dear Lord, Amen.

晚禱

若我今日傷害他人心靈，若我今日使別人走錯路，若我今日照己心意偏行，求主赦免。

若我今日言語不合體統，若我今日不關懷人需要，因此使別人受傷害虧損，求主赦免。

若我今日對人冷落頑梗，若我今日只顧貪圖安逸，不願堅守神所交付職分，求主赦免。

求你赦免我所承認眾罪，求你赦免隱而未顯罪愆，求你常常引導愛護保守。阿門。

Some Random Tests

Here are some test results from a site I got from my sister. Are they true?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

You Are 10% Boyish and 90% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?