Job 30:25

I got this joke from the internet:

A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."

The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"

After a smile, actually it made me fall into a deep thought.

How many times we gave other people advices without listening?

There was an old Chinese story but real in history in the West Jun Dynasty:

There was one big famine over the whole country. The people finished the tree skins and grass roots, even men eating men happens! Local officials reported to the Emperor Wei and he was really confused, and said, "Why don't they eat meat porridge?" (何不食肉糜?)

This Chinese idiom is popular in describing misunderstanding situations. When the emperor has the most luxary food everyday but his people almost have to eat dirt.

I am not trying to condemn people who do not understand others, please do not get me wrong. I think everyone will NOT know the situation of every other. However, we just have to be patient to get a more comprehensive picture of how others feel before we try to help.

A typical conversation when I feel down sometime:

Me: *Sigh*
Friend: What's up?
Me: i feel no energy in me and quite frustrated lately because... (interupted)
Friend: Trust in God and delighted in Him! Pray and put every trouble of you in Him. He is the source of blessings and will make you joyful. Remember that verse about eagle... blah blah blah

I do appreciate that it is from a good motivation and really a "correct" answer, but not quite helpful at that point of time.

I think I understand women in the way that, we are NOT NOT (not a typo) seeking answers to a problem, but NOT YET. True communication involves understanding in different level, including "emotional acknowledgement". In the old text of Bible, the word "knowing" is used in a lot of different levels, from superficial to deep involvement.

Where are the first two times the bible used the word "knew"?

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. Gen 3:7 (KJV)

Did Adam and Eve not know they were naked before? It was a deeper feeling of the shame of sin and their experience of broken relationship with God.

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. Gen 4:1 (KJV)

It's not in NIV but in King James Version, "knowing" is always used as having sexual relationship. I am not getting erotic here, but I personally believed that sex is a gift from God that we can know our spouses better in phyical, emotional and spiritual ways. A good husband will not focus on the "techniques" or personal "climax" but eye contacts and communication (sorry I am NO expert in it yet). That's a form of knowing. (Just saw the movie "Friends with money" and mentioned eye contacts in sex. Important, right? I have no idea but I guess so.)

Especially in Asian education system, we know our knowledge by memorizing books and what teachers said. When we got an "A" or 100 marks, we were happy and thought we know enough. We never know enough for a relationship, no matter it is husband and wife or family and friends. We do not give a deeper thought in "knowing" (adding here, not even in academic knowledge. we'd never question why Newton's laws are wrong or -1 times -1 is 1. Mathematics IS a religion!)

A final word, our God is the best example to follow. He did choose to suffer with what we experienced and He choose to show us that He experienced it. (Isa 53, Phi 2:5-7)

"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." Romans 12:15

We cannot make others to know us, but we can learn how to know more about others.

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering." Heb 13:3

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.