A Dreamer

Funny people got funny dreams. Today is the last day of this year. I got a dream again that made me woke up with tears. Those who thought a man cannot be sissy plesae do not continue reading... I woke up at 8am something by an SMS, then slept again, there was when the dream began. I first met a girl who I like in high school long time ago, which surprised me since even I forgot about her totally. Well, but that's not the dream I wanted to talk about.

I met myself as a baby, lying there. Of course I was very cute and adorable. (People said you was adorable when you were young, implies that you will not be adorable when you grow up) I was taking care of myself, feeding myself and carrying myself. I enjoy the cuddle of my own baby on me very much. Interestingly, the baby can talk a little bit so we have a few lovely baby talk.

The thing is, I knew the dream is going to end when it's going to end. Suddenly I burst into tears. Feeling of leaving the dream? Maybe. However, I had this very strong feeling that I messed up my life, and also I am messing it up now. I was so adorable and 'well made', plus God gave me a lot of talents and blessings that I could enjoy. I was wasting those, making mistakes in my life always, being depressed and melancholic. When I woke up, I felt very sorry and I prayed that,

"Lord, I am sorry that I messed up the life you gave me. Please forgive me."

Another thing that I confirmed with this dream is, my nature is a family man. I think I truely enjoy holding a baby of my own with my wife. I hope that God gave me these attitudes and abilities, will not let me down by not giving me a family. I am re-watching the movie Abraham these days. The promise of God and the tracing of it by Abraham is very well done, together with the doubts and attack of the hope from time to time.

In the end, before Abraham led Isaac to the alter, Abraham said, "I will not disappoint my god again. There were times in the past when I believed that he had abandoned me. But, it was I.... who had abandoned him. And I will not disappoint him again."

Nothing so special but just a dream of a dreamer (豬嘜) at the end of the year....