Topological Space

2007-10-11T09:01:00.000+08:00

Reflection During Retreat

Rediscover the height and depth of the tiny portion of God's infinite attributes that I am able to understand. Realize that He is far more trustworthy than I think. By Trusting Him 100% in every aspect of my life, esp. the most important part of my own family. He is the One who designs and provides. In His timing, plan and orchestration. Believing He will make all things beautiful no matter what the future will be.
Put my hope in Him even though every circumstances dims. Walk steadily with His righteous guidance.
Read Psalm everyday. He is my joy and comfort. Other than Him, no on can comfort me. Trust in His decisions. Focus in His will, knowing it, understanding it, doing it, persevering into the future.
Rest in His arms, that carry me closer to His heart.

Trust God, my Provider, my joy, my Best Friend, my King.
Remember His goodness and grace to me. His infinite wisdom, power, and majestic sovereignty. Put my WHOLE heart in Him. Focus in my duty given by Him.

To my gracious, majestic King of Heaven and Earth.
Declare my loyalty to strive for His glory.
To fall in awe of Your deeds and wonders.
Remember your goodness, grace and care.
Comfort is when I know that God is great, infinite, caring and faithful.

By Your love, please take care of me. I pray.

2007-09-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

"It is astonishing, numbing, to find that inside you is a stranger. A sleepless, restless stranger who keeps walking, keeps eating, keeps living."

The Brave One

2007-09-04T17:43:00.000+08:00

《父子》李克勤

十岁起当我练球技似笠臣出众人成熟只变成现场观众
愿你懂多努力难避免四大皆空捧金杯会发觉理想很重

大个仔请见谅其实我不是巨人无能力给你们做人宝训
若有天当你未能做个伟大医生也要信这世界美好吸引

当歌手当司机当警察不紧要只需要你似个铁人病痛少
得不到金靴奖根本我不需要我最想你似我面上怀着笑

当歌手当司机当警察不紧要只需要你碰上困难别困扰
想得到得不到少不免灰心了我最想你似我面上怀着笑

我最惊你似我渐渐麻木了

(click here to listen)

2007-08-02T11:23:00.000+08:00

Sin

Biblically, "sin" means "missing the mark", here is a story:

A 6-year-old boy shoots very well. Every arrow is in the mark. His dad asked how he did that.

He said, "I shoot the arrows first, then I draw the marks around them."

His dad told the boy that is cheating, the marks should be there before shooting. His dad said, "I am the perfect one who will not miss the mark, you should learn my way." The boy asked, "how to do that? It's amazing! Through practising thousands times?"

He dad said, "If you do not want to miss any mark, you just don't shoot."

2007-07-31T17:20:00.001+08:00

Selfishness is the Opposite of Christlikeness.

It's a very good conclusion of the first part of Romans 8 saying that all things works towards one ultimate goal, namely, to conform us to the likeness of Christ.

To think about it, it's quite scary. Did you ever read about Jesus smile or laugh in the NT? All we have is He wept, was sad, angry, grieved, you name it. Perhaps He smiled when Peter walked on the water? I don't know. But as Isaiah described, He is a man of sorrow. Am I going to be like that?

Of course, Paul is not encouraging us to frown always. Then what is conforming to Christ about? About what we should do? Serve in the church? Love others? Not sinning? Paul asked the question, "What, then, shall we say in response to this?" He continued, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I guess there is one very boring terminology that we always talk about, it is our relationship with God. I mean it is the answer of how we are conformed to Christ. We heard it many times that Jesus has the perfect relationship with God. Think about He is being sent to the cross by God. It is just like someone tell his wife/husband to be stripped, walk on the street then chop off the arms. It is totally "foolish" to do. However, Jesus' relationship with God brings obedience to Him that can bring our salvation, in order to restore our relationship with Him, which requires the same commitment.

To confirm with Christ, are we aiming for the same faithfulness to God? Do we want the blessing or the One who bless? Will we still follow God if He does not bless us? Is that what the image of Christ about? We cannot supply any needs God wants, because God doesn't not need anything, but He sacrifise for us.

2007-07-25T17:55:00.000+08:00

What is the difference between Adam and us?

He should not have a belly button.

2007-07-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

Mathematic Theology

Decided to start writing along my studies in BSF on the book of Romans. To start with, let me indulge in my pride of being a mathematician.

Theorem 1: Doctrine of Condition for Salvation
Believing Jesus Christ's death and resurrection is the necessary and sufficient condition for our salvation.

A sufficient condition means it is enough to cause something to happen. For example, if you are thirsty, a sufficient condition to quench your thirst is to drink enough water. Meaning, whenever you do that, the effect for that condition will happen. Believing in Jesus's death and resurrection is enough for us to reconcile to God. Nothing additional is needed (but that doesn't mean we won't do those "additional things".)

A necessary condition means if the effect happens, the condition or the reason must be there. For example, in the future, maybe there will be a device attached to our body to inject water into our body directly without drinking it. So, drinking water will not be a necessary condition for quenching thirst anymore. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Actually, there is another way, namely, being righteous ourselves. However, this is not achievable at all because we all inevitably sinned.

To summarize, this is the basic of faith. To believe in Jesus's deity, love, faithfulness, and work for us. Nothing from ourselves but only by His grace and mercy. Although, this only requires us to believe in our hearts, it does not stop there.

If we really really "believe in our hearts", it means it will have some changes in our attitudes and actions. Anyone who believe in exercising will keep us healthy will go for sports. Those who claim this belief but stay home all day being crouch potatoes are not true believers. This is a tough topic on differentiating how deep we believe. This is a boolean question (meaning either yes or no), but a matter of degree. Meaning how much is it. Do we bet our lives on it? Or our belief is just enough to make us to go to church every Sunday. Maybe we will talk about it next time.

2007-07-16T13:39:00.000+08:00

Rubbish III

粉霞伴孤影
靜夜陪獨思
驚醒一場夢
淚灑三更時

2007-06-29T08:12:00.000+08:00

Someone is Praying for You

How many times I read the passage in the Bible about Jesus and the Hole Spirit are praying for us, and grief for us. Not until now I can understand after so many years.

There is time in life that I paid full strength to get close to God, and exhausted. Desperately crawling on my knees and try to reach God but no more strength to pray. I cannot transfer this feeling to you but it turns my grief over to know that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are praying for me. I think probably a person cannot understand the importance of this assurance until he is so desperate for God but totally without strength for prayer anymore with total exhaustion. When God is the ONLY hope, and He is faithful.

And of course, I cannot omit that it is very sweet when you know that all your brothers and sisters are praying for you also. 患難見真情. I cannot survive without them.

Here is a song to share.

Someone Is Praying For You
Lanny Wolfe

Verse:
When it seems that you prayed
'til your strength is all gone,
and your tears fall like raindrops
all the day long

Jesus cares and He knows
just how much you can bear
He'll speak your name to someone in prayer

Chorus:
Someone is praying for you (x2)
And when it seems you're all alone,
and your heart would break in two
remember someone is praying for you

Verse 2:
Have the clouds 'round you
Gathered in the midst of a storm
Is your ship tossed and battered
Are you weary and worn
Don't lose hope someone's praying
For you this very day
And peace be still is already on the way

2007-03-07T06:35:00.000+08:00

Fly me to the moon

God's sacrificial love makes Himself suffers.

Isn't it trivial?

No. I do not understand God's love in Calvary, and I do not understand how He suffers fully.

It's not only the whip and the nails that hurt Jesus, nor the humiliation. Those are only what we can see. It hurts God when we love Him less than He does. It also hurts Him when we do not undertand His love for us.

I can never understand the love on the cross completely. Not a chance. Not even close.

I can understand His love in a certain tiny magnitude, but never be able to understand His passion in full.. Like a 5 years old son has no way to understand how his parents loves him. I can only imagine a bit in the difference between the magnitudes of God's love and human love. We human may sometime understand this difference a bit when we have loved someone more than us in our lives, like becoming a parent. Then, we experience the longing for the return of love that makes us suffer, namely, the root word for "passion". We can only love others, stop hurting others, but we cannot make others loves us or stop them hurting us.

And why God has to suffer? There is no reason and no need for Him to suffer. Plus, suffer for the stupid human race who ruined themselves?! That is the propitiation (Romans 3:25, Heb 9:5) He displayed publicly. "ilasthrion" (Greek, hilasterion) means "the seat of mercy". God does not give us what we deserve by His sovereign power and His will.

The gap between God's love and human love is never filled. Human love is like the distance you travel to work... maybe 1 hour of drive? Then think about the distance of taking a plane to travel to another city, maybe 20 hours of flight? That already makes me very impatience. How about travelling to the moon, I don't know how many days does it take. To the end of our solar system? To the belt of Orion? To the edge of the universe? How many light years do we take to go there. God's love displayed in Calvary is far more than that... Makes me remember my favourite hymn based on the Jewish poem Haddamut :

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

In the mist of loving sacrificially in our human relationships, we may understand and experience a tiny bit of how God love us. Also, we have chances to exercise hope, kindness, gentleness, patience, self-control, humility, consideration, and understanding, forgiveness.

2007-03-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

Snowflake

Flames in our palms spark
Snowflake in my heart
Moonlight peace flickers
Dawn in Tetra-March.

2007-02-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

Regular Checkup

I did some diagnosis sometime ago, here is some new checkup on myself recently:

Stopped playing games (for those who knows me, it is impossible)
Start cleaning up my house
Play the piano in the middle of the night
Look in the mirror
...

Hee...

2007-02-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

Wo Chee Chou

Guess what is it? I drank it today, the hint is, it's "more than alcohol"

This vinegar! No kidding, I am drinking this "Tian Di Yee Hao" vinegar.. which is a very popular drink in China..

(to be cont.)

2007-02-09T11:40:00.001+08:00

我相信　

A woman in US killed her three children by starving them. (video link here)

Well, you may say an extreme case it is. However, similar kinds of parenthoods are all around in Singapore, according to my friend who is a social worker specialized in child abuse cases. Parents do not want their children, torture them emotionally or physically.

Someone has children and he does not treasure them. Someone who doesn't have children and he wants them very much.

In the mist of chaotic reality of sins, this is a song that reminds me.

我相信　　

曲：黃國倫　　詞：黃國倫
主唱：黃國倫

他們說　世界太寂寞
為愛付出一切　只換來眼淚
花兒開　花又謝　轉眼一場空

我承認　留不住天真
但冷漠的人間仍有溫暖的安慰
感動我　鼓勵我　珍惜我所有

我相信　上帝的悲憫
母親的眼淚　孩子的眼睛
沉默的謙卑　勝過世界喧嚷的驕傲
我相信　真心

我相信　愛情的堅貞
守約的可貴　寬恕的美麗
無悔的奉獻　點亮生命深藏的意義
喔　我相信　真愛常新

2007-02-06T10:32:00.000+08:00

Will you come and follow Me ?
Text : Iona Community. Music : Trad. Scottish folk tune, KelvineGrove

Will you come and follow me
If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know
and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown
Will you let my name be known
Will you let my life be grown in you
and you in me ?

Will you leave yourself behind
If I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind
And never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare
Should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you
and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see
If I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoner free
And never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean,
and do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean in you
And you in me?

Will you love the “you” you hide
If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside
And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found
To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound
in you
And you in me?

Christ, your summons echoes true
When, you but call my name
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In your company I’ll go
Where your love and footsteps show,
Thus I’ll move and live and grow in you
And you in me.

2007-02-01T15:44:00.000+08:00

It Makes No Sense

I decided to add a new category, namely, "it doesn't add up!". Probably it's just my own stupidity that I cannot understand why someone do so and so... If anyone knows, please enlighten me.

The first thing I posted is that... One day, I saw a man walking his dog.

The thing is, the dog has super long white hair, it's more than a fur ball. You can see its tongue almost falls off because the dog is dying to release its heat. The poor dog is wearing its fur coat and running by his master in SINGAPORE! What in earth his master wants to keep a dog who suffers the heat like that? For companionship? This master probably is "too warm" or didn't know what is it like to wear as an Eskimo but live in the Equator. Can anything be worse than that? Maybe ask him to wear a bikini and take a walk in Alaska.

This dog thing is bugging me from time to time. I really cannot understand why humans cannot express more love to each other instead of a dog. I am not opposing having a dog but some people are really too "into" it. Is it because they already show enough care and love for each other around them so that they have excess for the dog? I really don't know.

2007-01-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

Wealth

I've been to places. There are a few places that left some intensive emotions in my heart, namely, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia and India.. What is the common thing of these countries? Some families there earn US$0.50 for a day only and it's not even enough for survival. It reminds me of my childhood when I stayed in an SS area (slum + scum). Areas full of exposed drains emitting strong smells, with rats which is bigger than cats, the "four poisons": prostitution, gambling, drinking, drugs(嫖赌飲吹), you name it. If God wants to destruct cities again like Sodom, I was in one of these.

These thoughts just cannot get out of my mine. I am not in such poor situation anymore but why are we depriving them. Are we? I thought of it when I went to a coffee shop auntie and hand over eighty cents for a coffee. I thought of it when I look at the leftover junk after I finished a McDonald's meal. I thought of it during the burning of money in the new year fireworks.

Do I make sense here? Are you still with me?

We may think of their poverty is NOT from us. We, so called developed countries, are sucking blood from undeveloped countries. We obtain materials, fuels, labour, from them but paying them peanuts. Sometime, when we are organizing some charity campaigns for these poor countries, I got a feeling of Dracula promoting blood donation.

On the other hand, see what is important in developed countries. Eating duck tongues, pig stomach, fish sauce and maggots are considered as Fear Factor and on the contrast, people are starving in other countries. Children in wealthy country will complain about a glass of water because it has no ice, while other children have to drink water after it's used for shower (or even more disgusting usages). More worse, emotionally children are protected and you cannot hurt their self-esteem by not scolding them, but you know how many children died each day without even living a life like a dog in an advanced country?

Here is some extraction from the song, "on the other side of the world":

我曾在夜裡哭泣因為愛情已遠離
你也在夜裡哭泣只是天空很久沒有下雨
我常常向上帝禱告希望工作愛情都順利
你默默向上帝禱告只是希望下一餐會來的更早

我曾經上街去遊行抗議政府要給更多福利
而你在槍聲中躲避戰爭使你顛沛流離
我有幸福的家庭暑假想去歐洲旅行
而你在廢墟中哭泣你的爸爸媽媽在哪裡

P.S. I was once in the Big Brother Project in US. My job is to be a good friend to an "abused" child in order to help him. The police was once surrending his home because his father beated him and they beleived this child should be protected and helped "psychologically". Later on, when I met and talked with this "victim" kid, I discovered he was so pissed off and made his father angry. All because of his father did not give him a playstation, and his reason was, he deserved it and it is his father's responsibility of giving him that.

2007-01-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

粉霞伴孤影靜夜陪獨思

Every new year countdown I have a wish, and every end of a year the wish is still a wish.

I thought I will burst into tears in the new year count down. In the end, I didn't.

Fire work (burnt with the money of tax-payers) shot up into the sky and scattered into (finitely) many pieces. As the heart sank and dissolved into (finitely) many sediment.

What have I done this year? As in some previous years, I don't think I will know until I met the Lord.

2006-12-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Before You Speak

THINK before you speak. Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? - Alan Redpath

(He got a good name also)

2006-12-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

Bacon and Egg Breakfast

About commitment talked earlier, here is a story about it quoted by our TL in BSF earlier on.

A pig and a chicken were out for a walk one day when they happened across a very sad-looking group of human beings. “Gee,” said the pig, “I wonder what’s wrong with them?” “I don’t know,” said the chicken. “But I wonder if they might be hungry. Let’s cheer them up! Let’s make them a bacon and egg breakfast!”

The pig paused for a moment. “Hey,” he said. “I’m not so sure I like that idea. For you it’s a contribution, but for me it’s a big commitment!”

2006-12-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

寧赴湘流

生命不外乎:疼愛別人,被人疼愛,傷害別人,被人傷害.我們只能盡力去疼愛別人,不傷害人.但沒有能力去令別人疼愛你自己,或防止別人傷害你.

我明白神對我們無私的愛.
我明白自私的最終結果是不會快樂.
我明白世界需要多一點付出,關懷,溫暖,愛心,為對方著想....

但有時真的覺得,自私的人會比較快樂.
他們不用為他人想那麼多,
他們不渴求與人深交,
孤獨並不是一個顯露的問題.
對感情不用負責.隨意而行.
他們生活在自己的世界,需然虛幻,卻有短暫的滿足.

屈原既放，游於江潭，行吟澤畔，顏色憔悴，形容枯槁。漁父見而問之曰：「子非三閭大夫與？何故至於斯？」屈原曰：「舉世皆濁我獨清，眾人皆醉我獨醒，是以見放。」漁父曰：「聖人不凝滯於物，而能與世推移。世人皆濁，何不淈其泥而揚其波？眾人皆醉，何不餔其糟而歠其醨？何故深思高舉，自令放為？」屈原曰：「吾聞之，新沐者必彈冠，新浴者必振衣。安能以身之察察，受物之汶汶者乎？寧赴湘流，葬於江魚之腹中，安能以皓皓之白，而蒙世俗之塵埃乎！」漁父莞爾而笑，鼓枻而去，乃歌曰：「滄浪之水清兮，可以濯吾纓；滄浪之水濁兮，可以濯吾足。」遂去，不復與言。
(English Translation here)

Actually written in Nov 1999

2006-12-01T12:57:00.001+08:00

My Idol

Watch this, someone that I admire.

Being a father is more than a total commitment.. it means you have to commit all yourself every second, plus, extending your limit for the ones you love. Not only your sons and daughters, but your beloved wife. To those fathers, they will know what I mean by "extending limit"

(click the picture for a full picture)

2006-11-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

Children Church Camp 2006!

Here again, once a year, children church camp. The theme of this year is Exodus, yeah.. slave driving. Here are some photos of the camp. (Some more here, and here)
This year is quite tough, because the room has no air con. The heat and the noise (aircon room is more 'sealed' and quiet) made it very difficult to control the kids.. I guess my temper was being pushed to the limit. However of course, there were a lot of sweet moments, like little Emma went to uncle Stanley and said "I love you".

The camp actually let me experience how the israelites irritated Moses, hence... irritated God. How God was faithful and patience towards His people and took care of them. God is just so so extraordinary.

However, the conclusion is, let me know, how I irritated God. More accurately, offended God. Moreover, how good is God to me and the real meaning of "God is faithful and long suffered".

Thank you, Mr. God.

2006-11-15T17:18:00.000+08:00

My Saviour First of All

When my lifework is ended, and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see;
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me.

* Refrain:
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand.

Oh, the soul-thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face,
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace,
That prepare for me a mansion in the sky.

Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.

Through the gates to the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.

2006-10-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

Knowing Good? or Knowing God?

In the Sunday school teachers' retreat, the speaker said, "We are not teaching the children how to be good kids, we are teaching them who God is."

Totally aligned with BSF studies of Genesis this year, are we learning how to be a good person through the lives of those people in Genesis? Or are we learning what are the attributes of God, through His faithfulness and grace to work in His people's lives?

Who is/are the main character(s) of Genesis, or the Bible? Adam, Eve, Enoch, Noah, the Patriarchs? or God

If we do not know how faithful God is, how do we know that we are not faithful? Substitute the word "faithful" with every adjective of God, such as holy, loving, patience, wise, sovereign, you name it.

It's only the personal relationship of knowing God that made all the Patriarchs to do what is right in God's eyes.

What I finally want to say is, we sometime do not understand what means by a relatioship with God by "knowing God".

We do not know what "knowing" means.

P.S. Please don't argue about the first statement. I do NOT mean we do NOT teach our kids to behave well, I meant there is a priority only. That's my broken English.

2006-10-29T20:57:00.001+08:00

Out of the Blue.... Yet?

I was in quite a deep depression the whole week. Every morning woke up by bad dreams. Even woke up by my own crying once.

Nothing/noone was able to cheer me. I was pulling some of my friends' legs by dragging them when they were caring about me. Adding onto me, I felt more guilty. Apologize to them.

It went on for the week, probably because of my work. Stacked up stresses plus my dean told me that although my teaching is excellent (he did use that word) but my research is not good enough. There IS some distance between my current research and their expectation. Unless I did some significant improvement, otherwise in two years time, I will lose my job. Yes, they don't care about teaching. This is the sad thing about universities, they are ranked highly ONLY because of research, nothing deal with teachings. Noone cares about teaching. So far if the teachers do not do crazy mistakes or do not strip in front of your own class, they can just stand there and read the books to students... to teach.

Deep deep blue is affecting me. Of course the same old questions are appearing again, "what am I doing here", "am I doing the right thing for God"...

Well, I am a sinner who needs help.

Stresses from ministries are also piling up. Fortunately BSF is ending. However, sunday school teachers have to go for a retreat this weekend. Bring my both emotionally and physically drained body, i didn't expect much in the retreat except please don't die here.

God is good. The retreat revived me, from death.

First, the speakers and games are really reviving me. My mood was uncontrollably returning to normal at the night when i was in the BSF DL fellowship.

The last day of the retreat, our pastor came with his weary body from Malaysia.

The sermon was good, it was about Abimelech in the book of Judges 9 in the Bible. How he decieve the people by imposing insecurity onto them. We are also affected by the world and told that we are finacially, emotionally, physically, whatever-ly insecure. So we need all those financial planning, slimming plan, etc to secure our positions. Pastor Chris helped me by pointing out a very important point: All these made us to forget God. This wicked Abimelech even killed his 70 brothers. However, one of them, Jotham, escaped (to Beer! what a nice place) and finally woke up the people about remembering God.

I do remember God, but didn't realize the world is telling me to forget Him, to forget that He can provide. It's a battle here.

I do forget partially in this modern days of Judges. Pray that God will remind and help me. Thank God for answering my prayer for encouragement through forcing me to go for the retreat.

Well, another week is coming, see if I will forget God again...

Abimelech means "my father is king" vs Jotham means "God is perfect". Isn't it asking about if your king is on earth or trust in God's perfect?

2006-10-22T01:25:00.001+08:00

【念奴嬌‧赤壁懷古】蘇軾 (東坡)

大江東去浪淘盡，
千古風流人物。　　
故壘西邊，
人道是﹕三國周郎赤壁。　　
亂石崩雲，
驚濤裂岸，
卷起千堆雪。　　
江山如畫，
一時多少豪傑。　　

遙想公謹當年，
小喬初嫁了，
雄姿英發。　　
羽扇綸巾，
談笑間、強虜灰飛煙滅。　　
故國神游，
多情應笑我，
早生華發。　　
人間如夢，
一樽還酹江月。　　

2006-10-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

Baby blue

I am playing the game Kingdom Hearts II now. Reminds me of my favourite charactor, Donald Duck. Just thinking about it, my most favourite charactor is Xiao Ding Dong (Doraemon) All in the same color leh, including my favourite comics, Baby blue...

I am so blue.

Just for fun, my sister sent me this:

叮噹詩歌版

何用呆著等運到
愛主事奉多麼好
無窮奇妙當中歡笑賜我快樂神是最好
平凡人亦感受到
有主愛著我自豪
麻煩奇事都可交托只管專心在禱告
只雖要用愛禱告
奇妙就臨到
你睇 “恩典o黎啦”
基督呀，誰都感激您
我深覺自豪

2006-10-16T21:30:00.000+08:00

Not again!

look the the middle portion of my personality chart....

2006-10-13T12:51:00.000+08:00

Metaphor I

"After certain volumen of intake, you must produce enough output to the society and you cannot keep it to your own. However, you did not know if your input is helpful for you unless you judge your product by seeing if it is emerging to the surface or simply sinking. Since the input/output process is a life-long one, we must constantly examinate our product and check how solid and firm it is. Then we can divert our intake to make a better product.

One final word, do not always take other's product as input. Just devour output from others and reproduce the same substance is meaningless."

If you are wondering what we are talking aobut, we are talking about "Education" here.

2006-10-06T14:37:00.001+08:00

Kitchenware

I could use one of these

2006-09-20T14:21:00.000+08:00

Job 30:25

I got this joke from the internet:

A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."

The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"

After a smile, actually it made me fall into a deep thought.

How many times we gave other people advices without listening?

There was an old Chinese story but real in history in the West Jun Dynasty:

There was one big famine over the whole country. The people finished the tree skins and grass roots, even men eating men happens! Local officials reported to the Emperor Wei and he was really confused, and said, "Why don't they eat meat porridge?" (何不食肉糜?)

This Chinese idiom is popular in describing misunderstanding situations. When the emperor has the most luxary food everyday but his people almost have to eat dirt.

I am not trying to condemn people who do not understand others, please do not get me wrong. I think everyone will NOT know the situation of every other. However, we just have to be patient to get a more comprehensive picture of how others feel before we try to help.

A typical conversation when I feel down sometime:

Me: *Sigh*
Friend: What's up?
Me: i feel no energy in me and quite frustrated lately because... (interupted)
Friend: Trust in God and delighted in Him! Pray and put every trouble of you in Him. He is the source of blessings and will make you joyful. Remember that verse about eagle... blah blah blah

I do appreciate that it is from a good motivation and really a "correct" answer, but not quite helpful at that point of time.

I think I understand women in the way that, we are NOT NOT (not a typo) seeking answers to a problem, but NOT YET. True communication involves understanding in different level, including "emotional acknowledgement". In the old text of Bible, the word "knowing" is used in a lot of different levels, from superficial to deep involvement.

Where are the first two times the bible used the word "knew"?

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. Gen 3:7 (KJV)

Did Adam and Eve not know they were naked before? It was a deeper feeling of the shame of sin and their experience of broken relationship with God.

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. Gen 4:1 (KJV)

It's not in NIV but in King James Version, "knowing" is always used as having sexual relationship. I am not getting erotic here, but I personally believed that sex is a gift from God that we can know our spouses better in phyical, emotional and spiritual ways. A good husband will not focus on the "techniques" or personal "climax" but eye contacts and communication (sorry I am NO expert in it yet). That's a form of knowing. (Just saw the movie "Friends with money" and mentioned eye contacts in sex. Important, right? I have no idea but I guess so.)

Especially in Asian education system, we know our knowledge by memorizing books and what teachers said. When we got an "A" or 100 marks, we were happy and thought we know enough. We never know enough for a relationship, no matter it is husband and wife or family and friends. We do not give a deeper thought in "knowing" (adding here, not even in academic knowledge. we'd never question why Newton's laws are wrong or -1 times -1 is 1. Mathematics IS a religion!)

A final word, our God is the best example to follow. He did choose to suffer with what we experienced and He choose to show us that He experienced it. (Isa 53, Phi 2:5-7)

"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." Romans 12:15

We cannot make others to know us, but we can learn how to know more about others.

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering." Heb 13:3

O Divine Master,; grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;; to be understood, as to understand;; to be loved, as to love;; for it is in giving that we receive,; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,; and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

2006-09-18T17:41:00.000+08:00

The Man's Ribs

Here is the recipes for the sweet and sour ribs. For 1 lb. of ribs add

1 soup spoon of Chinese white wine
2 soup spoons of Chinese black vinegar (鎭江醋)
3 soup spoons of dark/old soy sauce (老抽)
4 soup spoons of sugar

Just put everything in and cook for 20 min.

Yes, it's that easy.

P.S. For those who wonder about the title, it's Gen 2:21.

2006-09-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

Deception

I watched an interesting video clip online. It was a short talk between David Zinczenko editor-in-chief of Men's health magazine and Kate White, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan. David did a research of what men look for in a women and here is the list, in the order of importance:

Faithfulness
Intelligence
Beauty
Honesty
Good in bed

On the contrast, this is the research of what women think men look for in women:

Beauty
Confidence
Good in bed
Allure
faithfulness & honesty

The first reaction of Kate was questioning the results from guys were only that "they just said what they were supposed to say", my interpretation is of her hidden word is... "hypocritical".

Guys, what say you?

The host said, "If you are 25, you may want a 'hot chick', but if you are 35, you really realize what is important." Guys are not that dumb... although there are some....

I would say a lot of young guys may really go for looks. Mature guys don't.

According to David,

%90 of men rate having wives as soulmate over amazing sex.
%72 honesty > looks

David said, "no use to have a beautiful orchid if always worrying someone is picking it up"

%60 beautiful face > beautiful body

Kate immediate protested that guys look for "curves". (That's why so many slimming program out there for women.) However, David said, "it's not the face, it's the eyes." I totally agree, the eyes of a woman reflects herself. Not only physically, but also their emotion, inner self. You can tell a lot from the eyes if a person is living in fear, ignorance, or wise, kind, etc. from the eyes.

Interestingly, Kate insisted in thoughts like, "guys like beauty", and also like women to be "allure", "mystery", and "excitement of women which surprise guys everyday".

I think she is not reflecting the reality, she is trying to change the reality.

For the first second, yes, a beautiful woman will catch a guy's sight, but for not more than 5 min, i.e., not for the life long time as a wife. "Beauty is fleeting"

For one night stand, maybe "allure" and "mystery" hook guys, but you cannot be mysterious for a life long commitment.

Excitement everyday? First, how can that be possible?! Even so, the guy may die from a heart attack one day. Excitement only excites people when it gets heavier and heavier.

Yes, for ignorant guys, they look for appearance. For mature guys, let's get real.

I used to serve in youth ministries and I told the youth. "How you attract is what you get." You dress as half-naked, you attract lusty guys. You talk wisely, you attract mature guys. As Christians, you live your daily life with a good relationship with God, you attract godly men. This is a matter of choice, you cannot attract a guy who got everything good things. There were a saying,

If a guy is handsome, usually he is a playboy.
If a guy is rich, usually he is not faithful.
If a guy is nice, usually he is already married.
If a guy is handsome, rich, and nice, but he is also faithful, not a playboy and not married....

.... probably he is gay.

Ladies, please wake up, don't read Cosmopolitan (or whatsoever magazines) anymore. Guys likewise, stop reading those magazines that give you a false image of the other sex and make you more dumb.

P.S. A final word... guys or girls, we usually don't want to grow up. So we stay at the stage of fantasy. That's why the commercials are so 'fantastic'. Wake up! You are living in a real world.
P.P.S. That is why I always sigh and quote two old Chinese verses:

千里馬常有，而伯樂不常有
路遙知馬力，日久見人心

(Interestingly they are all about horses.)

P.P.S What is your list?

2006-09-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

My Favourite Hymn

An Evening Prayer
Words & Music: C. Maude Battersby

If I have wounded any soul today,
If I have caused one foot to go astray,
If I have walked in my own willful way,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have uttered idle words or vain,
If I have turned aside from want or pain,
Lest I myself shall suffer through the strain,
Dear Lord, forgive!

If I have been perverse or hard, or cold,
If I have longed for shelter in Thy fold,
When Thou hast given me some fort to hold,
Dear Lord, forgive!

Forgive the sins I have confessed to Thee;
Forgive the secret sins I do not see;
O guide me, love me and my keeper be,
Dear Lord, Amen.

晚禱

若我今日傷害他人心靈，若我今日使別人走錯路，若我今日照己心意偏行，求主赦免。

若我今日言語不合體統，若我今日不關懷人需要，因此使別人受傷害虧損，求主赦免。

若我今日對人冷落頑梗，若我今日只顧貪圖安逸，不願堅守神所交付職分，求主赦免。

求你赦免我所承認眾罪，求你赦免隱而未顯罪愆，求你常常引導愛護保守。阿門。

2006-09-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

Some Random Tests

Here are some test results from a site I got from my sister. Are they true?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

You Are 10% Boyish and 90% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

2006-08-26T12:58:00.000+08:00

Peace in my heart, ... but from where?

There are times in our lives that we are not confused nor troubled. We experienced peace and we are contented. However, I read this today when I am doing my QT. Quoted from Oswald Chambers in his My Utmost for his highest:

"There are times in our lives when our peace is based simply on our own ignorance. But when we are awakened to the realities of life, true inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus."

How true it is that sometime we are just ignorant and treat it as the peace Jesus gave. Just because we are lazy, or not striving forward, we do not want to deal with our own problems and weakness so we ignore them. Being idle (in mind or in action) is not a sin (..I guess), but sometime it is a symptom of some hidden sins, most likely laziness, or being lukewarm towards God. Of course, the peace is disturbed when others rebuke us.

Especially ignorance of our own sins, I guess it is the most common mistakes we made. We know that God has mercies. However, every sin has its consequences no matter how small, or how unrelated to others, or how hidden it is. Did you leak out a secret to others without someone's permission? Did you sit in front of the computer and surf on some websites you shouldn't read? Did you speak of someone else without respecting him/her and the truth, i.e. gossiping? Of course we have our Jesus to pay for our price, but usually people just skip the seriousness of sins and then ignore the sin. Paul said,

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" Romans 6:1

Are we doing that? Really, that is a question we usually skipped although we know that we are sinners and we know God paid for the price and we are forgiven. But, are we living a life with sins without repentance and using Jesus's death as a token to pay off our fines? Is our life goals pleasing God, loving God, and glorifying God?

Do we just have the peace that is NOT from Jesus because we ignore our sin, ignore God, ignore God's ultimate purpose on us (We all have the same one, you don't know what this goal is?).

2006-08-17T14:23:00.000+08:00

Ebenezer

"不思量。自難忘。...塵滿面，鬢如霜。夜來幽夢忽還鄉。...明月夜，短松岡。"

Time flies, I have left Hong Kong for ten years, remembering the flight at that time was on 19 Aug 1996. At that time, I still remember that I cried at the Seattle airport like a baby when I called home. I really did say "I wanted to go home NOW" when waiting for the connection to Illinois. Still remember that when my flight landed at Urbana-Champaign, I was shocked by the emptiness of the place. Namely, within 100 miles of surrounding, it was pitch dark (10pm) and I did not see any light or buildings. Strong fear creeped me in such a deserted place. "How many months does it take for them to discover my corpse if I died?" I wondered. Thoughts are always about if I had made a wrong decision to leave HK.

"今天我寒夜里看雪飄過
懷著冷卻了的心窩飄遠方
風雨里追趕霧里分不清影蹤
天空海闊你與我可會變(誰沒在變)
多少次迎著冷眼與嘲笑
從沒有放棄過心中的理想
一剎那恍惚若有所失的感覺
不知不覺已變淡心里愛(誰明白我)" 海闊天空 Beyond.

So many times I sat by the windows (I don't mean MS Windows), watching the snowflakes falling with a hot ... not chocolate, usually noodles or my self-cook mono meal, wondering what am I doing here. Sometime with tears, and later learned to have silly smile by myself.

"從前傻頭小子　現已大個更深近視
但已練成能往心內奔馳
而旁人仍不歡　罵我自滿以心做伴
但我任人胡說　只是旁觀"

Ebenezer, "Hitherto hath the LORD helped us".

Thank God for all the providence and love, guidance and discipline, protection and giving me a lot of loving friends. The changes and molding for my personality are totally different if I stayed in Hong Kong.

Well, I don't know how well I have been doing for these ten years. I hope I won't break down.

After ten years in Moab, Ruth and Naomi went back to Israel when all the husbands died. (Ruth 1:4)
After ten years in Canaan, Abram could not wait anymore and took Hagar to have Ishmael. (Gen 16:3)

What is the goal for the next ten years?

2006-08-01T11:35:00.000+08:00

Birthday Resolutions

Give thanks to God more, complain less
Praise God's goodness more, request less
Serve more, idle less
Care more, anger less
Think + feel more, yield less
Others more, self less
Trust more, worry less

2006-07-27T13:04:00.000+08:00

Grant Sharing

Last year I shared this song in BSF. (The feed back is, I'd better don't sing)

(In the tune of "Top of the world")

After “intro” I added in my name
The length of waiting list is simply not the same
Waiting for one whole year, and at last I am here
I would better don’t be 3 times absentee.

Such a feelin’s comin’ over me
There is “challenge” in most homework I see
Not a clue in my mind, Got the tears in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Chorus:
I’m in the discussion answering the “personal” question
I’m the only one who does it I can find
And my DL’ve also found, he winks at me round and round
So I look down and ignore the whole world

First year is hard enough that I find
Until the ‘minor prophets’ make me change my mind
One question will be “skim chap 1 to 43”
So I became a DL and hope it’s more easy

Everything I want my group to be
Is that they are nice and they don’t bully me
And my prayer is clear, and I find God does hear
My members are the cutest ones that I’ve seen

Chorus:
I’m in the discussion group asking, for A.S.K. questions
And the prayer answers we can find
God’s so good that we’ve found, He is faithful every round
His love’s put us at the top of the world

2006-07-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

Mathematical Genealogy

My ancestors:

Joseph Louis Lagrange

(1736 – 1813)

Jean-Baptiste Joseph Fourier

(1768 – 1830)

Gustav Peter Lejeune Dirichlet

(1805 – 1859)

C. Felix (Christian) Klein

(1849 – 1925)

Philipp Furtwängler

(1869 – 1940)

Nikolaus Hofreiter

Edmund Hlawka

Hermann August Maurer

Herbert Edelsbrunner

ME!

By the Mathematics Genealogy Project

2006-07-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

Perfectionist

In my class (not in my university, but in my sunday school), we have this 4 year old kid who is very smart and nice (he probably knows more bible than some adult christians today). Last Sunday, we colored some pictures and he did it wrongly. So my partner told him that it doesn't matter but he insisted to correct it. So we gave him a new sheet and let him redo it again. However, time is up and we let him to take home to finish.

However, he cried when he came out of the classroom! He said that he had to do homework at home... Luckily we spotted it and also explained to his parents why he cried... aiyo... no sweat. Otherwise we don't know how his parents would have think that we bullied him...

Well, it's always a big question if we have to do our best, or not our best.. In life, sometime we stressed ourselves too much, and sometime we feel guilty of not giving our best.

God helps us please.

2006-07-20T15:36:00.000+08:00

Too Sharp

Yesterday, we went to JB , Malaysia for a day trip. Well, the ladies went for shopping, me and another guy got nothing to do and wondered in the shopping mall. Finally we sat down and had a good guy talk.

He is older than me, and definitely wiser. We talked a lot, especially about my "non-existing" relationship. We got the conclusion that I am too sharp to communicate, maybe that's the failure of my relationship with other girl..., including my sister. I am too sharp to spot problems, too sharp to speak, too sharp to word exact meaning. It's so hard for others to talk with me... Although I tried my best to word my sentence gently.. but the fact is still revealing and the truth is still hurting. I guess it's because my profession trains me well in giving proofs and arguement, maybe I am like Paul.

I just hope to build a Christian family that bases on God's Words and guidance. It does not mean there is no love element. I strongly believe that love is built on truth. If there is no truth, then we are not sinning and Jesus' sacrifice is worthless, thus, His love is nothing.. We are loved because He is willing to choose 'love', without trading off truth. So Jesus had to do in the hard way, dying with humiliation that He didn't deserve. Well I guess we try to get around with it for the easy way. When the truth is not revealed, there is nothing to change and nothing wrong...

Then how to be loving upon truth depends on wisdom, I will say divine wisdom. Anyway, it's too far for me to say these now.

However, in Proverbs, it says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I guess people just don't like the heat and conflicts that hurt. However, I cannot stand myself to be rusty and blunt. I guess that is where sin comes from. When Abraham was blur and had a son with Hagar by Sarah's suggestion, also you can name so many examples in the Bible when we do not remind each other because of fear and cause problems.

Jesus told us to remove the plank of our own eyes first, but He did told us to remove the speck of sawdust from our brother at last. I guess accusing others of 'judging' is abused sometime. Yes, we should not judge others, but we should remind each other to live a godly lives. We are responsible for others as well.

"The spiritual man makes judgments about all things."

2006-06-23T00:15:00.000+08:00

Shower Diagnosis

I usually do many things together in my shower in the morning, such as brushing teeth. I can tell my mind is not in condition when I...

Put bathing soap onto my head as shampoo
Squeeze conditioner onto my tooth brush
Scratch the tooth brush onto my face and discovered that it is not the shaver
Come out drying my hair and discover that I haven't washed away the conditioner

Usually I am out of my mind or really burdened with some thoughts if those happen.

2006-03-04T05:22:00.001+08:00

5am

Dad came to Singapore to visit me, under the Queen's command to take care of me. This morning, he was going back to Hong Kong and I sent him onto a taxi at 5am, and all is still dark. I really missed him and stand there for about 5 min after he got on the taxi and left. Remind me of "背影".

Everything is still dark.

2006-02-22T10:15:00.000+08:00

Shall We Love?

What do you mean by "falling in love"? A romantic exchange of eye sights? Passionate hugs (usually the next scene is on the bed in movies)? A heartily conversation?

Sigh... nowadays all about love is "making myself happy". When someone says "I love this!", it means he 'likes' it. We are abusing the word 'love'. Even in worship, when is the time you think you gave the best worship? Some Christians will say "when I am totally immersed into the atmosphere and tear because I feel the love of God and His presence is so near me."

Sigh..., self feeling again.

Well... it is not wrong to feel God's presence, enjoy His majesty and touched by His love. However, that is only the primitive beginning, worshipping is giving God what He deserve ...

"Have you ever been driven to do something for God not because you felt that it was useful or your duty to do so, or that there was anything in it for you, but simply because you love Him? Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him?"

"If what we call love doesn’t take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love. " - Oswald Chamers. (My Ulmost Highest)

I call "love is ignorant" if we do not excercise God's given Spirit of Truth, and "love is shallow" if we do not give anything that hurts us.

BTW, according to the Bible, actually we cannot call the above 'love', Paul said:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. " 1 Cor. 4-7

Being "patient" is when someone pissed you off again and again and again , and again (7 x 77 times) but you still undertand. Being kind is givng others what they do not deserve and you actually do not have to give at all. Love DOES NOT delight in ANY evil but rejoices with ALL truth. I think I am not adding new things into the Bible, but the existential descriptors (as a mathematician's bad habit) remind us that love does not come with homosexuality or premartial sex. Anyway, I guess we already cannot call ourselves loving at this point already...

Love without obeying God is lust. Sins strip us off from God's glory.

The world is fallen, really.

2006-02-01T13:59:00.000+08:00

Rubbish I

Snowflakes fly, snowflakes float,
Drifting while the wind blows.
Where to land? Where to go?
We cannot tell and nobody knows.

Fall on grasses, fall on a window.
But will not last until tomorrow.
Hopefully dirty floor is not the goal,
Being trampled and melted in sorrow.

Snowflakes with you, snowflakes with me.
A warm company like honey and bees.
They come, they leave.
I cannot keep them but only can see.

Sometime I wonder in my bed,
Especially when I'm lonely and sad,
"When will a snowflake fall on my head?"
Maybe I should ask my meow meow cat,

2006-02-01T10:11:00.000+08:00

Taxi Theology

In Singapore, I love to take taxi because it's so cheap. From the far west end of singapore to the other end in the east, it will only take about S$20. Why should I buy a car?

Well, since I am not local here, the smart taxi drivers realise my accent and sometime they will do something funny. Some of them are quite cunning especially in non-rushing hours, when they do not have many customers. Once, there was one taxi driver who took me a big round with the high way. Finally, the fee was more than %50 more than usual, I felt cheated.

So, sometime I am nervous on a taxi. My emotions on taxi can be.... tensed and stressed, because I need to direct the route. Or sometime it's "pai seh" (Singlish, meaning "shy"or a sense of "shame") since my directions can be very complicated. Of course, the worst feeling will be at getting annoyed when the taxi driver insists to go for the longer way. I will feel cheated and "I will never take your taxi again" (Well it's hard to take his taxi again anyway.)

However, why am I got pissed just because of a few dollars?!?!

When I think about it, actually it's only such a small amount of money (and sometime the longer route maybe faster). I like to study my own emotions usually and I found myself very calculating. Upon reflection, I am so blessed already with all my family, jobs and friends, why should I care about a few dollars.

I guess sometime my life is like that also. Namely, because of some mistakes others made, I will get very annoyed. Although I do not lost my temper, but the 'debt' is pinned in my heart. I will not yell at people, but I will feel uneasy. Normal human responses? However, Jesus taught us,

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

I don't know if I need to keep an account of 77 times of taxi rides, but in my life, better remember our Lord's grace from time to time. We are forgiven, again and again. I know someone may take it as a command that we need to forgive others. However, I guess it's a natural result if we really understand the forgiveness from God and the price paid by Jesus's humiliation and His horrible death. Just want to say, I didn't realize how much He gave when I was a young Christian. Probably I do not understand and appreciate it fully now. But after I realize more, I know Jesus did not just "die and resurrect". He gave all He could give and it DID hurt Him.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Jim Elliot October 28, 1949

It always reminds me about the movie Babette's Feast, when the servant gave all she could have given. Do I ever give ALL I could give to someone? NEVER. I wish I will have the chance to do that for my future wife and children. Well, I cannot do that now but God did that for my sins. And the question is, am I going to calculate what others have done to me?!?! no matter big or small?

"Love is ... not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs."

So, next time we are on a taxi, remember that we are under the grace system. Upon receiving such grace, our life direction should be totalled re-aligned.

2006-01-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

Pride and Prejudices

Such a nice movie, I was attracted by it from the beginning all the way to the end. (I am talking about the 2005 version.) The movie is no doubt well made.

I was especially amazed by the English. So thoughtful, even it's arguing, apologising, or being angry. Of course Elizabeth in the movie is so ... I called her "elegantly sharp". It shows that our comtempory conversation is so empty and without thinking, non-edifying and self-centered, dont' even mention about manner and being a gentleman..

"I know, I mean I thought a "gentleman" was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible. " From Blast from the Past

2006-01-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

Trust and Obey
Lyrics: John H. Sammis, Music Daniel B. Towner

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Refrain

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

Refrain

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Refrain

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Refrain

2005-12-31T10:44:00.000+08:00

A Dreamer

Funny people got funny dreams. Today is the last day of this year. I got a dream again that made me woke up with tears. Those who thought a man cannot be sissy plesae do not continue reading... I woke up at 8am something by an SMS, then slept again, there was when the dream began. I first met a girl who I like in high school long time ago, which surprised me since even I forgot about her totally. Well, but that's not the dream I wanted to talk about.

I met myself as a baby, lying there. Of course I was very cute and adorable. (People said you was adorable when you were young, implies that you will not be adorable when you grow up) I was taking care of myself, feeding myself and carrying myself. I enjoy the cuddle of my own baby on me very much. Interestingly, the baby can talk a little bit so we have a few lovely baby talk.

The thing is, I knew the dream is going to end when it's going to end. Suddenly I burst into tears. Feeling of leaving the dream? Maybe. However, I had this very strong feeling that I messed up my life, and also I am messing it up now. I was so adorable and 'well made', plus God gave me a lot of talents and blessings that I could enjoy. I was wasting those, making mistakes in my life always, being depressed and melancholic. When I woke up, I felt very sorry and I prayed that,

"Lord, I am sorry that I messed up the life you gave me. Please forgive me."

Another thing that I confirmed with this dream is, my nature is a family man. I think I truely enjoy holding a baby of my own with my wife. I hope that God gave me these attitudes and abilities, will not let me down by not giving me a family. I am re-watching the movie Abraham these days. The promise of God and the tracing of it by Abraham is very well done, together with the doubts and attack of the hope from time to time.

In the end, before Abraham led Isaac to the alter, Abraham said, "I will not disappoint my god again. There were times in the past when I believed that he had abandoned me. But, it was I.... who had abandoned him. And I will not disappoint him again."

Nothing so special but just a dream of a dreamer (豬嘜) at the end of the year....

2005-12-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

Christmas Isn’t Christmas
lyrics & song: jimmy & carol owens

Christmas Isn’t Christmas
'till it happens in your heart,
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts;

So give your heart to Jesus,
you'll discover when you do
That it’s Christmas
Really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire,
A light like a candle's glow;
He's waiting now to come inside
As He did so long ago.

Jesus brings gifts of truth and life
And makes them bloom and grow.
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when He comes you'll know ..... that ...

Christmas Isn’t Christmas
'till it happens in your heart,
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts;

So give your heart to Jesus,
you'll discover when you do
That it’s Christmas
Really Christmas for you.

2005-12-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

About Condemnation

When is the time when two people argue with the most extreme anger?

I will say, when they are emotionally overwhelmed, or, in another word, not base of facts and truth.

If I say that you are such a big fat pig, but actually you are underweight. Will you get angry? Or saying that you are ugly and disgusting, but actually you just won the beauty contest? Will you get angry? Of course not, truth denies false condemnation.

Next time, if you got condemned and you feel pissed, or unhappy and cannot accept it, probably it's because of

You do not realize that the condemnation is not true, or
The condemnation is true but you cannot accept it.

For us, i.e. Christians, we are condemned by Satan from time to time, or from other people used by Satan. If the first case happens, we'd better understand the truth and realize that it is the only way to set us free... well, how to know the truth? Know Jesus and study the Words. The other case, we are still sinners and what in the earth that we say that we are perfect? We should be glad that if someone rebuke us on something wrong about ourselves. We got our God to guide us and forgive us, if God is with us, who can against us? We should feel sad about our own sins, but we shouldn't be just stopping there. Again, know Jesus and study the Words. Follow our God the Father's will and seek the help of the Holy Spirit. That is the best we can do.

Next time, if you heart is upset by condemnation. Pray for the wisdom to know the truth. If it's really our own faults, pray for forgiveness and repent...

2005-12-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

If I Believe in Revolution Theory

Taken from Reveredfun.com

2005-11-23T20:14:00.001+08:00

Getting Stucked II

Interestingly, the first article of "Getting Stucked I" got a lot of responses, from comments, emails, msn, etc.... However, most responses asked me who are that 'one girl' that I was talking about... @_@ The main point of that is actually about the acts and my feeling of unfairness, not about who was that girl.. There are a few things I really really hate in my life. In a word, I really hate people who do what 'they see fits' in relationship. (Recently, I got a friend who broke up with his engaged girl friend and already engaged another girl within half a year.)

Although 'courtship' is not a life time commitment as marriage, I still believe there is some commitments ( or game rules, I use the word 'game' doesn't means treating it playfully, I just mean it's some rules like games of soccer, (American) football, tennis, etc. ) In a courtship, I think the rule is that the 'couple' should not consider others at the moment of dating. It sounds simple? See what I saw in real life, even from so called good Christians (or even 'spiritual' leaders)

I saw someone seducing others even he/she got a bf/gf.
I also saw someone seduce others who got bf/gf.
I saw people changing 'targets' six times in a year...
.... or approaching a few in the same time.

These are real stories and not imagination or exaggeration. In this age, loyalty to your bf/gf is a sin. Self interest is the first thing to be satisfied. Who makes me happy or who is better and I will hop on him/her and leave my current one alone, and sorry, I will not consider others' feeling.

Sorry that I don't mean I am a saint in relationships. I was also not doing good in the past. However, at least I consider others' feeling and refrain from doing anything that may hurt others at my very best. I just feel very unfair when I saw those who do not follow 'principles' or guidelines can be merried and married. I just completely feeling stupid for myself. Maybe I should be a jerk.

For those who are already in a relationship, I urge you to keep your mind clean and be kind to your bf/gf, even though the other party is extremely bad to you. Once you are in a relationship, having the thought of someone else maybe better is a poison, and it's not what God will like. Yes, there maybe some others can help you to glorify God more or help in your godiness. But, sorry, you are already in one relationship and thinking about another girl/boy is a betrayal to your current one, even it's JUST a relationship but not marriage. You may really decide to leave your current one, and WAIT for sometime and then go for the one who is 'better'. Changing your date immediately will hurt your old ones in a way that you cannot imagine (And you will not imagine or don't even care because you already WANT the other one) Once you had this kind of betrayal, I guess you may be subconciously afraid of that the same thing will fire back to you. Insecurity will definitely drive you into insane acts, like premarital sex, pre-mature marriage, etc (taken from books, 'intimate allies', '怎可以一生一世')

"In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit." Judges 21:25

2005-11-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

What is the time, Mr. Wolf?

Last few days, probably was the time I smiled and laughed most in this year. Our church held the children church camp and I was helping in the kindergarten classes. I thought it's easier because for preschoolers, we stayed in a room, doing crafts and singing songs.

I always enjoy my K1 kids, they are just tooooooooo cute. Luckily they were not my own kids or I would spoil them (although I always boast about how I am going to discipline my kids). This year, it's easier in the sense that we were in a room and did not need to run around. However, taking care of kindergarten kids was more difficult because... they could fly, jump, bite, fight, etc... you name it. The most enjoyable moment for me (later I will tell you when is the most enjoyable moment for the kids) was in the park. We enjoyed the nature on the boardwalk and looked for crabs and fishes along the way. At last, we were playing at the beach, and that's my dream of my life of building sand castle with kids, of course it's better if my future wife was there too...

Everything went well during the day with the kids, although my battery light is always blinking and my voice is lost already. All you need to do with kindergarten kids is to love them and encourage them. Praising some kids who behave very well like sitting very quietly will make others all listening to you. After six pm, they went home and did not stay overnight for the camp. I thought my day was over and I just took it easy for the night with my other kids in primary school.. The real stress came when I returned to my dorm, and discovered that two of my kids crying. One holding the cell phone and weeping, the other was crying outside. They were in primary one and it meant that this was the first time they stayed outside of their home.... in their life! Both of them wanted to go home. This was the second night and the first night I already did my best to put them to bed. When the kids wanted to go home, they WANTED to go home. Nothing could distract them. Finally, I let the kids in other room in and used my remaining voice to organised our secret club, 'stop laughing competition', charade, ... etc. until they really had fun and did not want to go home that much. You know what, then in the mist of crazying playing, some kids hit another one in his head and started crying.... and his mood just went down directly and refused to join any activities later on that night. ARRGGGH

Well, what I learned is, maybe I am like that too. Although I am quite contented in my life, there is ONE only thing I want, and I WANT it. Maybe God is telling me that I am like them also.

The highlight for the kids, is the game of 'what time is it, Mr. Wolf?' at the last day. They enjoyed it very much, and especialy when i got a tail (!!!) . The kids said that I am the most impressive wolf and some youth took the picture of me having the tails and hats on... and I think that's it for my life... noone will be interested in me anymore..... *sob* *sob*.

Well, at the end of the day, I still beleive that I will do it again next year.....

2005-11-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

Zoom In, Slow Motion

Recently, I am playing a game called Viewtiful Joe 2. The interesting and unique feature of the game is that you can zoom in and do slow motion of certain stunts. In movies, directors usually use these tricks for the most touching or sentimental moments in a love story, or the coolest finishing blow in the final battle.

Imagine doing a commercial for the BIBLE and capture all these moments.

The first time Adam was made and opened his eyes. The first time he saw Eve. The first time Noah came out of the ark and saw the rainbow. When the red sea was seperated and the Israelite cerebrating and dancing. When Joshua first stepped into the promised land.

When Boaz married Ruth. The first time David looked back and saw Samuel, and later on David fell on his knees and begged for forgiveness after he sinned. When Esther gathered enough couraged and walked in to see the king.

When Jesus was born.

When John the Batpist was beheaded because of his faith. When Jesus saw the multitude and His heart is filled with passion.

When Jesus said "It's finished" on the cross.

When the women discovered the tomb of Jesus was empty and felled down to cry.

When Peter answered Jesus the third time "Lord, you know I love you."

Of course, the story didn't stopped, we still have Paul, Timoty, Stephen, Silas, Peter, etc. You name it.

And, it still goes on. When you are born. The first time you accepted Christ and came back to God's love, and any time that you knee down and pray...

Slow motion, zooming in.. and God smiles.

2005-11-13T00:33:00.001+08:00

Getting Stucked I

Just want to write some stupid thing, this is not really like any of my other articles. I just want to grumble.

Life is full of situations when you got stucked. Things happened and then you cannot move in any directions.

When I was young, in high school I mean, I used to like a girl. Well, of course I was totally not attractive and stupid at that time. However, I still want to try and approach the girl. Too bad then the girl is not interested in me... However, what i discovered is because there are a guy flirting around. Impressively people know how to be more than friends, but less than bf/gf even when they are so young. Some people can just keep some ambigous friendships with many opposite sex at the same time. Of course, these guys are usually handsome and attractive and I am not.

These things didn't stop as I grew up... even once, my very own (ex) girl friend was seduced by such flirting guy who got a girl friend himself. Similarly, this guy had this habit of attracting EVERY girl. Especially that was the time in US, all people in our circles are away from home, just graduated from high school and emotionally not mature. I can see girls just fall for these flirting guys in no time.

Moreover, there was another guy, doing these 'attracting' girls thing, and destroying fellowships and creating problems.

They are all Christians.

And I can see , in various degrees, guys have these problem. Even they got a wife.

I cannot stop any of these, but I swear I will not be such flirting jerks.

However, there is where I got stuck. Whenever I feel I like some girls, these hatre for those flirting guys will stop me from anything..

Especially when I know the girl I like, is interested by a brother which sincere admiration. I'd rather hide myself and don't do anything. Well? Isn't it some kind of getting stucked? I was 'crossed' by others before and I do not want to cross anyone.

2005-11-08T08:42:00.000+08:00

Faithfully
Written and performed by Eric and Leslie Ludy
(MP3 Download)

Tonight I saw a shooting star
Made me wonder where you are
For years I have been dreaming of you
And I wonder if you're thinking of me too

In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance
They say that I'm a fool to wait for something more
How can I really love someone I've never seen before

But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived
And I know real love is all about learning how to give
So I pray that God will bring you to me
And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully

CHORUS
Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever
Faithfully, I will write
Write you a love song with my life
'Cause this kind of love's worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes I am yours

Tonight I saw two lovers kiss
Reminded me of my own lonliness
They say that I'm a fool to keep on praying for you
How's can I give up pleasure for a dream that won't come true

But I will keep believing that God still has a plan
And though I cannot see you now, I know that He can
And someday I will give you all of me
Until I find you, I'll be waiting faithfully

2005-10-11T15:03:00.000+08:00

Son of Salmon

If you ask me which one is the most beautiful love story in the Bible, I will say it is the story of Boaz and Ruth (rather than Jacob and Rachael). When a lady of virtue met a gentleman of standing.

However, we cannot make such a story into a movie today. Why? Because it may not be popular. We did not see any "sexy" descriptions of Ruth saying that she had silky hair, smooth complexion, charming eyes, or Venus like figure. Also we did not see Boaz appeared as Brad Pitt or David Beckham. Of course, Boaz did not stand behind Ruth and open her arms on top of the windy trashing floor like the movie Titanic. At the end of the day, the failure of this story is because it is rated as G, not even MC16 or PG, namely, no sex, no violence, and not even a kiss.

Well, you can see this is an extraordinary ordinary story. Ruth has a caring heart, humble and diligent attitudes. Most of all, it is her trust in God. What I can learn from her is that she is willing to take up a burden for the good of others, a commitment for "whenever, whatever, whoever, for-ever". On one hand, this humility and obedience is extinguishing in this modern world, but, if Ruth can show such kind of virtues in that terrible chaotic period of time, why can't we do that also? Yes, we are incapable. However, there is no excuse for us for not doing so to those we love, especially for God by God's power. We always said that we are not 'ready' for certain commitment; however, if we said so and did not make a choice to take the risk and responsibility, there will be never a time to be ready. Because, only those who admit they are weak and insufficient will rely and trust on God.

When we pan our camera to Boaz, what can we say? He is rich, but this is not the valuable eligibility of Boaz. He is a kind man, gentle to his servant and others. Most importantly, again, he is a man of standing in God's eyes. He may not be a handsome or smart guy, but he definitely has a 'soft' heart to care for those who are in need and he did not look down on his servants. In the mist of all these, his integrity and submission to God popped up when he handle the redemption of Ruth. He likes Ruth, but he didn't violate any laws or God's commands for his own desire. I will doubt myself of what I will do when I was facing the princess I love, in the middle of the field when there is no body around. It is dark and the world is just me and her. At least I will have the impulse to hold her hands, or an "innocent" hug, or of course I want to kiss her. However, in that moment, Boaz had a clear conscience and did the right thing, namely, mentioning about the nearer kinsman-redeemer.

What an anti-climax! However, this is the time to show how to claim God's promises provided that we need to:

Fit into God's holy livings
consider others' good, not selfish thoughts
change our lives for eternal good

To follow these, I need to trust God. How much we trust God? It is not only a feeling of security, but also shown by our behaviors. For myself, I fear the future, so I dare not to plan. That's my weakness because I know my limitations. There was a period of time in my life that I dare not to get up from my bed because I was stressed by the many decisions I need to make in the office. However, I figured out that I did not trust God much and that caused my fear. I did not believe that God has a plan already and God's love is far more than I can imagine. If Ruth and Boaz is the beautiful love story, God is the director of this movie and the author who wrote the scripts with His gentle hands.

At the end of the day, what did we learn? Did we learn that we should find a husband who is rich and gentle? Or a wife who is hardworking and submissive? I guess these might be true but it is not the most important part. We should live a life of 'standing' and 'virtue' ourselves. Trust in God when we make commitments for others' good. Even in the situation that we will make 'die-hard' decisions which make us suffer loss. We should trust in His plan that when we submit to His will, He will take care of our plans.

At last, God is faithful to everyone, even Naomi is comforted. And the genealogy at the end of the book of Ruth rings the postlude. If I am going to name this piece of music, the name should be "My plan will go on".

2005-10-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

Heroism

I guess, every boy has the feeling of being a hero in their hearts. Some people admire those 'heroic' heros, like Hercules, muscular and bravo.. Some will admire those who sacrifise such as Yue Fei (岳飛). Some heros are calm and intellectual, like Zhuge Liang (諸葛亮) who was talented but served his master until his last breath of his life. Some heros are romantic as well, such as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings.

In Chinese, there are a few words related to "hero". Of course, the most common one is yīng xióng, which is known by the movie. Another word is xiá (俠), some English translation is the 'chivalrous warrior'. For me, it seems like the two terms have some differences in the meaning. I guess the former focuses on the archeivement that a yīng xióng has done. On the contrast, the later focuses on the virture of the person.

For being a "xiá", he can be a great "xiá" (or a small one?). In Jin Yung (金庸)'s Wu Xia (Martial Arts) novels. One of the most famous characters, Gwor Zhin (郭靖), said this before:

"為國為民,俠之大者"

It means "For the man has a heart for his people and his country, he is the great one among the heros". To be a great hero (大俠), he has to have a heart of sacrificial love for others, and virtues to persist. These are the great heros for full respects.

For us, "how should we then live?" Where and which are our country and our people? We are in God's kingdom. Our lives should also focus in "為國為民" (for our 'country', for our people) "For our people", it does not mean only for the people who are Christians already. We should also live for people who are not Christian yet. To show our 'virtues' that are transformed by our Saviour, and to persist and resist the evil of the world. Evil does not always come in horrible ways. Sometime evil sneaks in by an attravtive appearance and tempts us when we are unguarded. For a hero, he may not afraid of a dragon. However, if there is no dragon to kill and no princess to be rescued, or a friend to be protected, the hero may 'decay' by himself (That is the story of Caramon in Dragonlance series). This is one of the very handy tricks of Satan, instead of percecuting us, just give us a good life so we will be 'soften'.

For us, we should keep alert, and keep our eyes fixed on our ultimate Great Hero. The one who defeat evil by His own sacrificial love. For He is our King and our Lord, we should mimic Him and live for our Lord, our kingdom and our people.

2005-09-15T13:05:00.000+08:00

My Chocobo

This is my 'truck' back in US, called 'DAIHOU 1'.
Remember that it serves very well, not only as my private car, but it is also the 'bus' for all others, and the 'truck' to help people to MOVE HOUSES! Although its colour is so old fashion, and also old (1990!), it still runs very well even i don't mentain it much :P . I guess it serves the Lord well also.. we just use it as the 'bus' to give people rides for sunday services and fellowships. Also remember I drove it from Illinois to North Carolina.

2005-09-07T12:02:00.000+08:00

Chinese Quotations

橫眉冷對千夫指，俯首甘為孺子牛- 魯迅
鮑子曰：‘汝忘君（齊景公）之為儒子牛而折其齒乎？- 《左傳》
酒酣或化莊生蝶，飯飽甘為儒子牛 - 錢季重

2005-08-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

Gdansk Poland

Yesterday, we went into the downtown of Gdansk to have a walk. Very comfortable and nice walk for historical buildings as well as rich culture of Polish people. Our conference place is in a 'hotel' (very crappy one) near to a very long nice beach. The sky is so blue here and everything is so calm and nice. We took a 40min bus ride to the downtown and visited interesting places. Of course, the most interesting thing is to observe people..

2005-08-27T12:41:00.000+08:00

He's the Lord of the Sunshine

He's the Lord of the sunshine,
He's the Lord of the rain..
He's the Lord of the good times,
He's the Lord of the pain..
He's Lord of the mountains,
He's the Lord of the sea..
He's the Lord of the music,
the Lord of the children,
the Lord of..you and me..

Melody from: http://www.lifebpc.com/resources/Midis/TSMS/tsms013.mid

2005-08-15T13:12:00.000+08:00

To be a True Atheist

Now, our society cannot live without science. We say a subject is a science if it uses 'scientific methods' based on proofs and experiments. On top of all these researches, we have the subject called 'engineering' and it is everywhere in our lives, civil engineering, mechanical engineering, computer engineering, chemical engineering.... you name it. So we believe that we live in a rational era that everything is proved. Then people fight back to God, it is not "scientific" to believe there is a Creator because we cannot see Him and cannot prove Him exists. People are evoluted from monkeys and fishes. If you keep your cats long enough, it can became another higher intellectual being.

I am not here to argue that if God exists or not. It just bugs me a lot when people emphasis the word "scientific". I sometime can see people are proud of being not religious but claiming themselves to be rational and scientific. Let's have a look what 'science' means. For my own opinion, i like this definition from a dictionary most:

"The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena."

Some other dictionaries have other meanings. (Although, I will say some are actually meaningless.) I will buy the above definition to be a quite correct and complete meaning of the word 'science'. In plain English, science means a 'systematic' way of observing some interesting phenomenon, then try to repeat some 'experiments'. If, what the experimental result shows it is consistent, then our observation probably is a 'truth', and we state it as a "theory".

My counter-attack is, who told us that if something happens ten times, then it is a truth? I can throw a dice and three in a row it shows '1'. Then I conclude that my dice, and all other dices in world, in the past and in the future, all shows '1'. Maybe this example is exaggerated. However, the 'scientific experimental proof' is the same thing (maybe they spend more money?) When we refer to 'proofs', it is either 'mathematical proof' or 'experimental proof'. For the later, there is not theory proved that doing experiments prove something. We are just believing this methodology works.

Moreover, there exists a chance that these experiments give wrong interpretation. There was a survey in Africa showing that the boys in the age of 6-10 have higher I.Q. if their feet are larger. Does it tell us that bigger feet makes people more clever? (Or some part of our brains can grow in the feet?) More deeper investigation tell us the fact is just that some boys grow up and develop faster, and that's why they have higher I.Q. Experimental results and surveys are not that as accurate as we thought and sometimes misleading... I do not mean these are wrong, but just feel very sad for people who do not really understand what 'scientific' means and just abuse it and say 'Christianity' is not scientific. I think if you ask me, and many other Christians, they can tell you that our reformed lives are the biggest experiment showing that God exists.

There are still a few things that bug me when people do not understand science. A lot of time, scientists are 'guessing' then do some experiments to prove they are right. Just like molecular model. By all means, 'modeling' means 'guessing', we do not know the real configuration or fact, so we come up with some ideas to 'approximate' or 'guess' the real one. For example, noone has ever see what a molecule is really like, don't even talk about electrons or ions. We just guess what they maybe, and teach all of these to our primary and secondary school kids. When they grow up, they think all of these are truth. I don't mean they are not wrong (nor right), these all 'models' are just unfalsifiable.

The other thing i may want to say is about mathematics. I guess a lot of people treat maths as some 'holy' truth. Anything that is proved mathematically cannot be wrong, and 'scientific'. Do you know that maths is an ART SUBJECT? Why? it does not have any experiment, so we cannot say it is a science. Also, although some mathematics theory are proven, but when you traced up the proofs, they all start with 'definitions'. Have anyone prove that -1 times -1 is +1? That is defined but not proven. Maybe it can be still proved, but the proof will still be based on definitions. What I mean is, we are just believing some ancient mathematicians of what they said, but not some indestructible truth. They are not true, but just unfalsifiable.

I called the above beliefs. Using science and maths are some kind of beliefs that is not as 'solid' and 'perfect' as we thought. Although Albert Einstein is not exactly a Christian, but he said this before:

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

I agree with Calvin (not the one who starts Calvinism, but the one with his tiger friend Hobbs) that mathematic is a religion, thus science is also a religion. If we just treat the word 'religion' is accepting something as our beliefs without proofs of every root. To be a true atheist, don't use maths, don't believe that things are made of molecules (molecular modeling means 'we guess how the molecules look like', no one 'see' any molecules or ions or electrons), don't drive the car because it is not proven.

When I believed in God, there was one idea that struck me. When I am sick, I believe the doctor and take the pills he gives. No one proved those pills will work. Even they works on some other people, they may not work on me. What in earth that I should trust those pills can heal me? but not making me worse? We all have the illness called 'sin', and only God can heal. If we never believe God can cure, we will never be healed.

2005-07-29T19:18:00.001+08:00

One year again...

Just went to the hospital this morning, did a surgery and removed my lump in my back. My mom has been nagging me of this for years and finally she won. About a finger size of meat (pork?!) is cut out and the wound is not hurting at all. Is it that I am too old and cannot sense it anymore? Tomorrow is my birthday again. Reflecting about this year.... Is there anything meaningful this year?

This year I changed to a new church, started teaching kindergarden kids again, joined a fun disciple group, became a BSF leader, removed my lump (does that count as some archeivement?), went to Cambodia for a mission trip, got a few papers published, graduated one master student, picked up tennis, and danced Salsa again.... But, I think the biggest thing this year should be the conversion of my mom after all these years of prayer ( > 14 yrs! ) A big relief. Well, now i can take it a little bit easier. First, my sister became a Christian and baptised, then my mom. Now my father is outnumbered, muhahahhaaha.

However, for my own very self... didn't seem much is done.

..... 厠水榴槤

2005-07-29T01:16:00.000+08:00

Fire Breath!

I like spicy food. There is one good one in China town here. One of my students brought me there when he graduated. (Of course I like the Chinese wine there... please don't let our BSF TL know.. ) The alcohol mixed with the insane hot food just dance inside my mouth. Of course, we can do the same thing with Korean food and their soju, or Sake with Wasabi. However, it's still the Chinese ones more powerful. I am very happy that I can take the "hot" food. >_< There is a saying in Chinese, but I don't know which version is the right one, maybe someone can help me. Is it:

四川人不怕辣，湖南人怕不辣，贵州人辣不怕 ? or
湖南人不怕辣，贵州人辣不怕，四川人怕不辣 ? or
江西人不怕辣，四川人辣不怕，湖南人怕不辣 ? or
四川人不怕辣，湖南人辣不怕，江西人怕不辣 ....?

Anyway, I like the dish "夫妻肺片" most. I feel like I got nine fingers now. (?) Probably I will be attracted to someone who can cook rather than someone who is pretty :P

2005-07-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

Open? Or Open Not?

I seldom watch TV. However, my mom and grandma are here for a week, so the TV is on. There was a show called "Crossfire". This is a forum type of show that invited some people and discussed some interesting topics. And they were talking about "Should Singapore be more open?"

The show started with the 'history' of the evolution of this Singapore "opening". First we allowed gambling, then X-rated movies, topless shows, bar dancing, etc ... Finally, this "integrated resort" with casino is allowed. Then they started to argue if we should be more open.

It amazed me how the people justified the need for 'sex industry'. They talked as if it is abnormal if we do not allow people to 'buy sex'. Some of them gave some reasons to justify:

There is no right or wrong, it is just "relatively speaking". We found those shows/prostitudes wrong because we found it strange and rare, in chinese "少見多怪". All these are not wrong and "relatively right" if we had them everyday. (Maybe, one day, stabbing his own father to death or sleeping with his own mother will be relatively not wrong also if everyone does that.)
It's a trend of the world that we cannot avoid, otherwise we cannot bring our offsprings to the next stage of human civilization. ( Well... the glorious Roman Empire and some other western cultures, I will include the current USA in my list, fell and all started with social, especially sexual, decay. Maybe 'decline of a country' is also a trend that we cannot avoid.)
Showing of the body is art. There is no boundary of art and we cannot put a frame on it by saying those are not art but erotic. ( No wonder Marcel Duchamp can be famous. Next time, my "nose blew" tissue can be put into a museum and I will name it "Wanton".)
If we got those what we wanted, actually people maybe satisfied and they might even don't want them anymore.

Quoating Joshua Harris in his book of "Not even a hint", he said "Lust is always an unholy desire for the forbidden. But though lust longs for an object or a person, ultimately this object is not its prize; its goal is the very act of desiring. The result is that lust can never be quenched. As soon as the object of lust is attained, lust wants something more."

What People think about 'lust' nowadays?

People don't call it 'lust', they call it 'pleasure'. John Piper is not a mathematician but he gave this formula: 'Lust is a sexual desire minus honor and holiness." For me, "lust is liking without the corresponding commitment". The modern meaning of 'love' is just 'liking' or 'fondness', it is just a feeling and a desire, but not giving and commitments. That's why we can 'buy sex'.

How Should We Then Live? ( This is a good book to read!)

Just imagine our future, actually just look at the States or Europe. The children lost their virginity at the age of 14, or even earlier, or even NOT with the opposite sex. Abortion is not an option anymore because there are so many underaged mothers. (Even they gave birth to the baby, unhappy families are the results and caused social break down.) Sexual illness, AIDS, unproductive industry are all around. And we should respect people who are homosexual or divorced (...a few times) Kids left home at the age of 18 in order to get their own place because their parents cannot control them anymore... One day your SON came back and bring you his BOYFRIEND. Anymore? I cannot put all because there are even more terrible ones. These are real and these are happening in the society and these are reality!

Want all these? Singapore is moving towards this direction and this "trend". Someone may say, 'not that serious ma! We are far away from that.'. Chinese we say "冰封三尺,非一日之寒" (The ice with three feet thickness is not only frozen in one day.)

That's the payoff of lust - "a continual lust for more". Joshua Harris

2005-07-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

Why God Created Women for Men?

In the beginning of the creation, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.' " (Genesis 2:18)

So, does it mean women are 'subordinates' of men?

No. You know why women are the 'helpers'?

Because...

Men really need some help!

2005-07-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

The apes are loose again!!!

Oh no... The game Ape Escape 3 is here!!!!
I enjoyed the AE2 so much! A game of fun without any blood and fighting but got very cute storyline and graphics... In last game, there were Ape Skywalker and Ape Solo to catch.. Although I only got a Jap version now, it's so fun...

The evil guy is releasing all the monkeys and putting hats with red and blue lights on.. to control them. Our task is to use a net to catch them. Of course the monkeys will fight back, by throwing banana skin to make us slipped. On top of this 'catch you if you can', the monkeys will make faces and pat their butts to insult you. Also some of the female monkeys will pretend to be very innocent and harmless, try to make you to spare them.

For those who like MSG3, look at this cool MESAL GEAR SOLID!

2005-07-19T23:24:00.000+08:00

Love is a Choice

Life is not more than..

To love, to be loved, to hurt and to be hurt.

We can only love others, and try our best of not hurting others..
but, we cannot make others to love us, or stop others from hurting us.

However, we all have a choice, to choose who we love. Also, to choose not to revenge when others hurt us. Love is interesting in a way that it is not only about feeling. If we love someone because of he/she is beautiful, or smart, or gentle, and so these make us feel good... this is NOT love.. it is just 'liking someone'. To love is to make a willful choice to give regardless of what the person is. Same thing for hurting people, we pay attention from time to time to avoid unnecessary damage to others, especially those we love. Sadly, many people will only love those who make them happy, and hurt others "at will"...

If it's not God, I won't even give it a try to love.

We are not cute, we are not lovely, we are not even pleasant. We sinned, we made God angry and sad.

I always compare us, the human race, as a toothbrush. We are like a toothbrush which can think. One day, the toothpaste told us, if we jump into the toilet, we will become a human! Then we will become the creator of toothbrush. So we stupidly jumped in. WHO WANTS TO USE A TOOTHBRUSH AGAIN AFTER PICKING IT OUT FROM THE TOILET? Well, of course everyone will just dump this stupid toothbrush into the trash and buy a new one, or rather just use a finger to brush the teeth.

Can you imagine someone die for the toothbrush?! Use his own blood to clean it? And make himself insulted and humiliated so other people also know that this toothbrush is still useful? and beloved?

If someone really does this, what can we say? "How can it be?"

God chose to die for us, He even planned it before the world is created.

2005-07-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

Quotations (Kate & Leopold):

Leopold asks, "Is this what you do at work, Kate? Research methods to deceive people? Refine lies until they resemble truth? It's no wonder you dread your work week."

She shakes her head in disbelief and begins to walk away.

Leopold continues, "What's happened to the world? You have every convenience, every comfort, yet no time for integrity."

2005-07-19T18:37:00.000+08:00

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. "

Proverbs 27:17

I don't think the iron will feel good when it's being sharpened. There will be friction, heat, rubbing, tearing off, breaking....We are not always happy, we are not just a social group for fun.And unhappy things WILL happen, and will DEFINITLY happen. We are all sinners, i mean it for myself. We still have something imperfect inourselves. Unless we are not sharing our lives with each other, not deep enoughto touch each others' weak points, not burdened enough to share others'sorrow and sadness, only keep on a superficial and shallow relationship,then we will have no conflict, no sharing, we can always joke aroundand be free and happy.

But, we are not like that. We are in a Christian group for lives sharing, not only for fun. We share our laughter , and we share our problem.We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and it means, "one day brothersand sisters, forever brothers and sisters", it means eternally. That's mybelief. "Bros and sis" are not just some jargons.I remember one of my bros said it before, if Jesus said "only the sick needs the doctor", then the church is the big hospital. Bible said it very clearly:Can anyone say he/she got nothing wrong at all? Even it happens to have nothing wrong, how many times did Jesus told usto forgive each other?

If it's such a easy thing to forgive, Jesus does not need to die.